Quiddity, Quinity,
Douglas R. Hofstadter's
Tortoise remarked, peering
Out from his shell,
"'Double-dactylic' is
Answered Achilles, "Vice-
Versa, as well."

Fiery Maiary,
Gandalf and Saruman
Each found the other had
Something to teach:
Gandalf taught Saruman
Sharkey showed Mithrandir
Where to buy bleach.

Pity, oh, pity ol'
Strider (that's Aragorn):
Eowyn's too butch for him,
Arwen's too glam,
And (to be slightly less
One false move there, he'd be
Slaughtered by Sam.

R. Daneel Olivaw's
Eons-long scheme had one
Goal: to serve Man.
Couldn't prognosticate
Asimov's retcon would
Spoil their plan.

Twiddledum, twiddledy,
Ludwig van Beethoven
Hopes his new symphony
Isn't a bore;
Therefore he's started it
Thrilling the crowd with five-
Seven of four.

Mo-shi-ku ku-mo-shi
Anthy Himemiya
Cares for her brother, as
He does for her.
(At the Academy,
Sibling relationships
Are de rigueur.)

Snicker-snack! Snicker-snack!
Slayer of Jabberwocks
Vorpally vanquished his
Frumious foe!
See how your words become
When you insist that their
Wages stay low?

"Vote for me! Vote for me!"
Senator Palpatine's
Running for Chancellor:
He's who I'm with.
Surely his shady and
Tactics will keep us all
Safe from the Sith!

Quicksilver quacksalver
Neal (Snow Crash) Stephenson's
Reading and signing next
Week at the Coop.
(Sorry if all of you
Already knew that; I'm
Out of the loop.)

I know what I know but
Simon (not Garfunkel)
Knew what you meant when you
Said, as you grinned,
"Don't I know you from the
Party?" The answer was
Blown with the wind.

Prosody, shmosody—
Foul-mouthed phonologists
Ought to learn how to act
More like adults:
"Expletive infix" be-
longs in the Journal of
Fucking Results

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