| artery | the study of paintings |
| bacteria | back door to cafeteria |
| barium | what doctors do when patients die |
| benign | what you be after you be eight |
| Caesarean section | a neighborhood in Rome |
| catscan | searching for kitty |
| cauterize | make eye contact with her |
| colic | a sheep dog |
| coma | a punctuation mark |
| D&C | where Washington is |
| dilate | to live long |
| enema | not a friend |
| fester | quicker than someone else |
| fibula | a small lie |
| genital | non-Jewish person |
| G.I. series | World Series of military baseball |
| hangnail | what you hang your coat on |
| impotent | distinguished, well known |
| labor pain | getting hurt at work |
| medical staff | a doctor's cane |
| morbid | a higher offer than I bid |
| nitrates | cheaper than day rates |
| node | I knew it |
| outpatient | a person who has fainted |
| Pap smear | a fatherhood test |
| pelvis | second cousin to Elvis |
| post operative | a letter carrier |
| recovery room | place to do upholstery |
| rectum | near killed him |
| secretion | hiding something |
| seizure | Roman emperor |
| tablet | a small table |
| terminal illness | getting sick at the airport |
| tumor | one more than one more |
| urine | opposite of you're out |
| varicose | near by/close by |