A takeoff on Abbott and Costello's immortal Who's on first? by playwright James Sherman
George: | Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
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Condi: | Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
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George: | Great. Lay it on me.
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Condi: | Hu is the new leader of China.
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George: | That's what I want to know.
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Condi: | That's what I'm telling you.
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George: | That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
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Condi: | Yes.
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George: | I mean the fellow's name.
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Condi: | Hu.
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George: | The guy in China.
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Condi: | Hu.
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George: | The new leader of China.
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Condi: | Hu.
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George: | The Chinaman!
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Condi: | Hu is leading China.
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George: | Now whaddya' asking me for?
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Condi: | I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
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George: | Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
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Condi: | That's the man's name.
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George: | That's who's name?
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Condi: | Yes.
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George: | Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
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Condi: | Yes, sir.
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George: | Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
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Condi: | That's correct.
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George: | Then who is in China?
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Condi: | Yes, sir.
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George: | Yassir is in China?
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Condi: | No, sir.
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George: | Then who is?
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Condi: | Yes, sir.
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George: | Yassir?
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Condi: | No, sir.
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George: | Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
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Condi: | Kofi?
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George: | No, thanks.
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Condi: | You want Kofi?
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George: | No.
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Condi: | You don't want Kofi.
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George: | No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
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Condi: | Yes, sir.
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George: | Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
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Condi: | Kofi?
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George: | Milk! Will you please make the call?
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Condi: | And call who?
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George: | Who is the guy at the U.N.?
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Condi: | Hu is the guy in China.
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George: | Will you stay out of China?!
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Condi: | Yes, sir.
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George: | And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
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Condi: | Kofi.
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George: | All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
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Condi: | (picking up the phone) Rice, here.
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George: | Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? |