BUSH DECRIES HAND RECOUNT
By STEVE MILANO
"For gosh sakes," said the irate Governor, "Who in the world thinks
those voters don't have the same number of hands they had before the
election?"
The incredulous Bush went on to say that while he believed that some
Gore voters might have suffered amputations since the election, the numbers
would be so small that they could not possibly affect the race.
After a reporter explained to the Governor that the judge was referring
not to a recount of hands, but a hand recount of votes, Bush still voiced
protest.
"You mean that now they don't even want ballots, they want to get
40,000 people together and ask them to raise their hands to vote? This is
ridiculous," said Bush. "And where are you going to put 40,000 people, in a
stadium or something? Think of how hard it's going to be to count those
hands when people's arms will get tired while they're waiting to be counted
and they lower them and raise them and lower them and raise them!"
Bush said he will still proceed with his responsible transition plans
in preparation of his eventual Presidential activities. Top aides have
confirmed that the Bush transition team has already begun interviewing
22-year-old female interns.
Austin, TX-NOVEMBER 12 - Learning that a Florida judge has issued a hand
recount in Palm Beach County, George W. Bush expressed outrage from his
Austin campaign headquaters.