| arachnoleptic fit
| the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web
|
| beelzebug
| Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
|
| bozone
| the substance surrounding stupid people, which stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
|
| burglesque
| a poorly planned break-in
|
| cashtration
| the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
|
| caterpallor
| the color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit
you're eating
|
| decafalon
| the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you
|
| Dopeler effect
| the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly
|
| foreploy
| any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
obtaining sex
|
| giraffiti
| vandalism spray-painted very, very high
|
| glibido
| all talk and no action
|
| hipatitis
| terminal coolness
|
| ignoranus
| a person who's both stupid and an asshole
|
| inoculatte
| to take coffee intravenously when you are running late
|
| intaxication
| euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with
|
| Karmageddon
| It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like
a serious bummer.
|
| osteopornosis
| a degenerate disease
|
| reintarnation
| coming back to life as a hillbilly
|
| sarchasm
| the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
recipient who doesn't get it
|
| tatyr
| a lecherous Mr. Potato Head
|