Linguistic humor, Quayle-speak


One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy—but that could change.

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.


The malapropisms below are not at all linguistics-related, but they're simply too good not to post.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.

Mars is essentially in the same orbit … Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If there is no oxygen, that means we can breathe.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world (the Quayles' 1989 Christmas card).

We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

The future will be better tomorrow.

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.

I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple. Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.