| Look, 'Lagarde' in German would become 'Wache'.
| La garde in French means 'the sentry', which translates into
German Wache 'sentry'.
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| In a few years, the French will reconquer Alsace, and then I'll have to
to by 'Vache'.
| French speakers would pronounce Wache to sound like vache, the French
word for 'cow'.
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| Then you guys will come back and make me change 'Vache' to 'Kuh.'
| The German word for 'cow' is Kuh.
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| Then the French will come back and make 'Kuh' into 'Cul'.
| French speakers would pronounce Kuh to sound basically identical to
cul '(ass)hole'.
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| Then you Germans will come back and make me change 'Cul' to 'Arschloch'.
| The German word for 'asshole' is Arschloch.
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| So why not just call me 'Arschloch' from the get go?
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