Linguistic humor, Husbands

Matrimonial analogy

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.
(attributed to Cher in the National Enquirer, August 22, 1983; but apparently originally due to Zsa Zsa Gabor)

An unwarranted inference

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."