Linguistic humor, Headlines

Lexical ambiguity

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

27 dental hygiene students to receive caps at MCC

Antibusing Rider Killed By Senate

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Autos Killing 110 a Day—Let's Resolve to Do Better

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Bar trying to help alcoholic lawyers

Bill Would Permit Ads on Eyeglasses

Blind Bishop Appointed To See

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

Branch Avenue Bridge To Be Fixed Before Fall

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Chinese Apeman Dated

Croupiers On Strike—Management: "No Big Deal"

Do it in a microwave oven, save time

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000

Ford departs Peking; no change in ties

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Kissinger allegedly forges Mideast pact

L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

LBJ Giving Bull To Mexican People

Lingerie Shipment Hijacked—Thief Gives Police the Slip

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

March Planned For Next August

Mauling By Bear Leaves Woman Grateful For Life

Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder

Mrs. Gandhi stoned at rally in India

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Rugby team's coach set on fire

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Shouting Match Ends Teachers' Hearing

Stadium Air Conditioning Fails—Fans Protest

Steals Clock; Faces Time

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Town OKs Animal Rule

Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based

Structural ambiguity

1978 Christmas Stamps Depict Madonna, Child on Hobby Horse

Aging Expert Joins University Faculty

Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store

Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Beating Witness Provides Names

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Carter plans swell deficit

Chester Morrill, 92, Was Fed Secretary

Child teaching expert to speak

Chou Remains Cremated

Clinton Wins on Budget, More Lies Ahead

Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly

Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies

Deer Kill 130,000

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

FTC Dogs Used Cars

Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

Greeks Fine Hookers

He Found God At End of His Rope

Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters

Hershey Bars Protest

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Jumping bean prices affect poor

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests

Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice

Lie Detector Tests Unreliable, Unconstitutional Hearing Told

Louisiana Governor Defends His Wife, Gift From Korean

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

MBA Studies Mushroom

New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead

PLO invited to raid debates

Police Can't Stop Gambling

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Sterilization solves problems for pets, owners

Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan

Suspect Held in Killing of Reporter for Variety

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Teacher Wants To Be Unveiled; Meeting Tonight

Teen-age prostitution problem is mounting

Teller Stuns Man with Stolen Check

Time for Football and Meatball Stew

Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Women Abuse Topic of Speech

Young makes Zanzibar stop


Air Head Fired

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Dead Expected To Rise

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Diaper Market Bottoms Out

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Firebombing Jury Takes Weekend Off

Gov. Moore meets miners' demand; two pickets shot

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Latin Course To Be Canceled—No Interest Among Students, Et Al.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Patient At Death's Door—Doctors Pull Him Through

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Scientists are at loss due to brain-eating amoeba

Sex Education Delayed; Teachers Request Training

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Shut-Ins Can Grow Indoors With Lights

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

War Dims Hope for Peace

Wives Kill Most Spouses In Chicago

Woman better after being thrown from high-rise