There is a tiny hamlet in North Yorkshire, England, called Bedlam. At the edge of the village is a sign saying, ``Welcome to Bedlam.'' (via David Richerby).
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In another office:
After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car