Source: Bush on crack, accessed 13 November 2000


Austin, TX-NOVEMBER 12 - Learning that a Florida judge has issued a hand recount in Palm Beach County, George W. Bush expressed outrage from his Austin campaign headquaters.

"For gosh sakes," said the irate Governor, "Who in the world thinks those voters don't have the same number of hands they had before the election?"

The incredulous Bush went on to say that while he believed that some Gore voters might have suffered amputations since the election, the numbers would be so small that they could not possibly affect the race.

After a reporter explained to the Governor that the judge was referring not to a recount of hands, but a hand recount of votes, Bush still voiced protest.

"You mean that now they don't even want ballots, they want to get 40,000 people together and ask them to raise their hands to vote? This is ridiculous," said Bush. "And where are you going to put 40,000 people, in a stadium or something? Think of how hard it's going to be to count those hands when people's arms will get tired while they're waiting to be counted and they lower them and raise them and lower them and raise them!"

Bush said he will still proceed with his responsible transition plans in preparation of his eventual Presidential activities. Top aides have confirmed that the Bush transition team has already begun interviewing 22-year-old female interns.